the fact that people are like “Coca Cola supports racial equality, I’m not going to be drinking Coca Cola anymore” and “Google supports gay rights I’m not going to use them anymore” like what next “the Earth provides Oxygen to ethnic minorities I’m going to stop breathing in protest”
It’s 11:59 pm on 31st of December 1999 a woman is in labour the doctors scream at her to push she looks at her husband as he bites is nails in anticipation. Suddenly the clock hits midnight and the room goes silent she and her husband start to cry as they realise they will never have a 90s kid
imagine if u could hear ur hair growing
hair: goo goo ga ga
me: how cute
6 months later
hair: but moooooom I don’t need to be trimmed
me: fuck u *shaves head*
Good thing I can experience the lunar eclipse from the comfort of my own bed on the interweb.
"Mmmmmmm." - Michael, age 42
Cosmo Tip 5437:
Secretly use super glue instead of lube so you can be together forever
the description gets me everytime
nothing is more satisfying than someone walking right past ur hiding spot in hide and seek
how old are you
"thatkilljoy" living up to the url i see
i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
ben’s introduction in the bbc book tho
And then there’s Martin’s intro to The Hobbit Visual Companion.
this gives me wobbles
They just have so much respect and love for each other.
it took me a while to figure out what was wrong